


you make me happy (when skies are gray)

by That_One_Yaoi_Kid



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Character Death, I Will Go Down With This Ship, Letters, M/M, Song Lyrics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-19
Updated: 2018-02-19
Packaged: 2019-03-21 10:47:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 652
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13739283
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/That_One_Yaoi_Kid/pseuds/That_One_Yaoi_Kid
Summary: In his lifetime, a man either loses his mind or all the blood in his body. For Negan, he loses both.





	you make me happy (when skies are gray)

The middle-aged man limps past the many bodies flooding the halls, pressing a hand firmly into the gunshot on his side, every step he takes is another reminder of his broken ankle and the most recent wound aches as more blood seeps out.

 

_ But nothing compares to the sting in his chest. _

 

Negan’s hanging on a loose thread, yet he still presses on until he reaches that all too familiar door. He remembers shoving a certain one-eyed teenager against that door and remembering that brings back the time he slammed it shut behind him, the room empty of all life.

 

_ Empty of  _ **_his_ ** _ life. _

 

Hesitantly, he twists the doorknob and swings the door open; the wood bangs against the juniper green walls. He doesn’t bother shutting the door, just finishes the stretch over to his bed and lays himself down unceremoniously. 

 

_ Do you remember pressing  _ **_him_ ** _ into this mattress? _

 

No one really knows what happens when you die, since the people who experience it literally aren’t alive to tell. Most people imagine it’s like seeing your life flash before your eyes; no. At Negan’s age, his life flashes before his eyes when he misses a step on the stairs. It’s not how the movies describe it; there’s no closing your eyes and allowing the bright light and warmth to take you.

 

_ Maybe that’s how  _ **_he_ ** _ felt. Peacefully slipping away into a blank canvas. _

 

As more and more of Negan’s blood seeps onto a white comforter and its matching sheets, he feels cold and when he shuts his eyes he can see a boy with sapphire blue eyes and overgrown hair, pale skin with hundreds of brown specks that somehow isn't blood. His teeth are straight and just barely white, and Negan can still hear his nagging voice at his morning breath.

 

_ “Brush your teeth, old man! It smells like whiskey and steak….and we didn’t eat steak!” _

 

Negan smiles, letting his eyes slip shut as he trails a hand down to his pocket. He thumbs the paper residing in the denim before pulling it out. It’s crumbled to shit, and if Carl were here he would’ve already thrown it away.

 

_ “Blame my OCD.” _

 

He unfolds the letter slowly, cautious not to rip it more than it already is. He should’ve hung the fucker on the fridge, or gotten one of those frames people put their high school diplomas in. Hell, he should’ve stapled the damn thing to his forehead every morning so he’d never forget.

 

_ You didn’t though. _

 

Negan opens his eyes slowly, like the words on the letter will burn his eyes. They don’t, but the tears swell and cloud his vision. He’s forced to wipe the tears with a hand dripping in crimson, smearing blood over his face.

 

_ “Must you be so gross?” _

 

When his vision clears, he examines the once white paper with affection, as if the author was in his hands, not his letter. The black ink has been smeared in some places, and Negan’s not sure if it was his or Carl’s doing but he can’t help feeling guilty.

 

_ “Smoking kills, asshole….and I don’t want to lose you.” _

 

Negan reads the letter out loud, repeating it until his face grows tired, but even then the words bounce off the empty room, echoing as far as down the hall. 

  
  


Maybe if Negan sings it loud enough Carl will take Negan’s soul and live the life he deserved.

 

_ “You’re a horrible singer, you know that?” _ __   
  


He doesn’t though. He just holds the paper against his chest, tears running down his blood-stained cheeks as his eyes slip shut and he’s enveloped into a cold darkness. But somewhere in that darkness, Negan hears a sweet, soft voice singing  _ his  _ song:

 

_ “You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. _

_ You make me happy, when skies are gray _

_ You’ll never know dear, how much I love you _

_ Please don’t take my sunshine away.” _

 


End file.
